ADZ for practical jokes and one off stunts
ADZ can arrange and secretly film a practical joke you wish to commission for a friend, relative or business associate ('The Target'). We have many scenarios available ranging from a simple filmed stunt to an extravagant international sting operation.
Dean Taylor is one of the only people to have successfully "Beadle'd" the king of practical jokes on TV....Jeremy Beadle!
We do not publicly list the different stunts available, but the following notes will provide general guidelines to this rather unique service.
Important note: This service is only offered to high net worth individuals. When you phone ADZ, the first question we will ask is.....'are you a rich b@@tard?'
There is a minimum cost for preparation, performance and filming the sting, which is available upon request. The maximum cost depends how far you want to go, for example......'I want my business partner to believe he is meeting with a rich Arab prince. Please hire a Lear Jet, use a bumbling pilot and crew who do not speak English, who have never heard of 'customer service' and have a major attitude problem. Take the target to Greenland and leave him stranded with a sledge and huskies in the middle of nowhere holding a packet of crisps and a small thermos flask.'
Some stunts involve having to get permission from Local Authorities. For example, if your target comes home from holiday and finds his home and garden has been turned into a petting zoo and his garage is full of steaming animal excrement. Such a stunt will involve animal carers on hand and potential temporary planning permission.
Some stunts involve informing the police beforehand.
Kindly note that ADZ will not take part in any practical joke, stunt or sting operation that ...
- involves death, sickness or injury scenarios
- involves guns, terrorists, kidnapping or similar scenarios
- threatens your target with violence (a threat of a mild slapping is ok)
- endangers our actors or animals (Verbal abuse is OK and a regular occurrence)
- could cause religious or racial/ethnic offence
- involves impersonating police officers on public land
- Targets Priests, Pastors, Vicars, Rabbis, Imams, Gurus, alleged Prophets, or similar
Based on the above list, please do not ask us to 'kidnap' the local vicar during his Sunday service, so he can have a 'damn good beating', publicly alleging he 'interfered with little Johnny the choir boy, who is now dead because of this'. Such a stunt is tasteless and tacky......although it could be quite fun to commission and actually undertake.
A mandatory five figure deposit is required which will be held in an escrow account. This money is returned in full after the stunt, upon your target signing a waiver. We do this in case your ex friend or future ex spouse, does not see the funny side of finding their home has been redecorated into a brothel complete with very large 'specialist' ladies and an even larger sign outside........ and wants to sue our arses. Also be advised, extreme caution is a must when intending to organise a stunt that involves your husband or wife. Consider using the money to treat him or her to a romantic cruise or alternatively book them in for a surprise long weekend at a luxurious fat farm or alcohol rehab clinic. This could save substantial divorce legal fees and a lot of possible matrimonial problems.
To discuss your exact requirements, an ADZ humour consultant will need to spend chargeable time analyzing the type of person your target is and giving one of several options available, based on your budget. If you actually do want to rent a Lear Jet, something Dean has already done for one of his projects, this can be arranged for a few hundred pounds. If you need to actually fly in it (our recommended scenario) and use the services of a pilot (our highly recommended scenario), this too can be arranged in the low thousands of pounds.
Please note that there is the potential to use the final edited footage for future TV broadcast and if so your stunt could be subsidised and even paid for in full.
Please remember: if ADZ can't help you, we probably know someone who can. So contact an ADZ corporate humour consultant today for a free, confidential, no obligation exploratory discussion.
A DIY Practical Joke on a shoe string budget
Can't afford to use ADZ for that really special unforgettable filmed practical joke? Not a rich b@@tard? Never mind! A typical shoe string costs £1, and this DIY stunt will cost you less than that. Next time one of your friends plans to go on holiday abroad, assuming they are quite gullible try the following, but get independent competent legal advice first. Our in house ADZ ethics advisor has threatened to resign because of what follows.
- Create a Word document on your PC.
- Copy and paste the following:
- Sorry but my friend is a gullible moron. He / She does not know what they are about to ask you. What he really wants to say is written in red. What he mustn't say is in green. Please be understanding and laugh at him / her.
- That's a cute looking dog, what is his name? [I think your dog may have rabies. Shall I put it to death now?]
- This is an excellent restaurant and the meal was delicious [I think your chef should be imprisoned for cooking this crap]
- Please tell me how to get to [name of town]. I will be driving there in my motor car. [I would like to sleep with your wife in the back of my car. How much will this cost?]
- Excuse me sir [oi fat boy]
- Excuse me madam [oi, fat tart or oi, bitch]
- I need directions to a hotel in the vicinity. Where is [hotel name] [I am an extremely wealthy person and need to be carried by a total prat such as you to my palatial dwelling behind hotel [hotel name]]
- I think you are a beautiful woman [where did you buy those cheap tarty clothes?]
- I think you dance superbly [you dance like a small beached whale struggling for survival]
- Save the Word doc
- Log onto the internet and access the website of one of the best language translation companies in the World: The Big Word. Click on the 'Use free machine translation' link on www.thebigword.com (Alternatively, there is a brilliant software program that can do all of this, as well as let you hear how foreign phrases should be spoken: Azam Software can be found on www.azamit.com)
- Copy and paste each phrase into your Word document in two colours: red for the proper translation and green for the silly one. Don't forget to translate the first sentence which should be placed at the top of the document!
- Print off and give to your target.
- Assume you will get one or two incoming SMS messages and phone calls while your friend is on a holiday.
Useful Phrases to use in [enter name of country]
Add your own phrases here........ensure they are colour coded as per the first paragraph above.
By the way, the voice clip of Andronicos' (as 'Harry Potbelly Lord of the Onion Rings') 'Tax Problems' track is one of 36 tracks from his double CD album, 'Live in the 12th Dimension', which can be listened to online on www.harryrings.com. Many are based on extremely amusing live phone calls, with the special effects and music added afterwards. All tracks carry serious, but secretly coded messages, for the listener to decode.